WHAT IS BETROTHAL? Here is what I have discovered. (An Example) The groom’s father must first contact the bride’s father and initiate arrangements for the betrothal. If both parties agree and the daughter says "I agree" the betrothal can go forward. At some point (I can’t tell when?) money or something material must be given to the brides father. (This dowry must be of great worth.) During the betrothal the boy and girl are never left along while visiting. During those visits the marriage is set.

Although it may not be apparent at first, there are serious flaws in this system. These flaws are so great that we cannot help but feel strong moral convictions against the whole of the system. Why? Because it turns the girl into as much as live stock!!! We respect young girls far more than that. Many notable experts agree that betrothal constitutes legalized prostitution and is an open the door to a lifetime of "servile bondage." (also known as slavery) I will fully explain what I have said but young lady, first, let me speak confront to your heart. God has far greater things planned for you than "forced marriage."

FORCED MARRIAGE? In the betrothal system it is asserted that the girl can accept or refuse. However, if she refuses the offer that her father approves, then what is left for her? Consider, if a starving man is locked away and unable to provide his own food, what can he do? What if the prison keeper provides him "pig slop" and says "Time to eat -- the choice is yours" What will the prisoner do? He has a choice: (1.) He can eat nothing and die. (2.) He can eat "pig slop" and hopefully live.

May I suggest that the "choice" given in the betrothal process is similar that of the starving man in jail. When a young girl has no other opportunity and is unnaturally cut off from most all of society then "pig slop" looks better than nothing. As a missionary I ONCE ate worm infested food. No one was watching or forcing me to eat the worms. I was just starved and had nothing else. After sorting through the many worms and satisfying my mislead appetite, I dumped out the rest so that I would not be tempted later. I was really hungry and afterwards I was sick remembering what I had done.

Therefore, when it is time to marry, a girl should be able to choose that which is good and not be forced to say "yes" to whatever someone else places before her. May I suggest that God speaking to a believer’s heart is God’s true way. God personally leads each one of his children into His very best! Did the Virgin Mary get parental consent? Certainly Joseph did not give his prier approval. God comes first and man’s will is always second!

What type of mate will God choose? Consider that a poor man or woman, having little money but lots of God, will often be God’s choice rather than the child of a dowry fat Millionaire. James 2:5 . . . Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, ...?" Any father that stands to receive a fat dowry can never have a clear vision when deciding between money and God’s true choice.

WHAT ABOUT SUBMISSION TO PARENTS?
Truly the Scripture commands us all to obey our parents. (Ephesians 6:1-4 . . . in the Lord: . . . 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath:..) The parents also have their part to obey by not mistreating their children. Everyone is also commanded to obey the Government and Church. However there is an limit to the extent of our required obedience in each and every relationship of life.

God’s will always comes first! We remember that for over 1200 years the organized Christian Church exercised great authority and outlawed the open reading of God’s Word. The Church (with the kings help) killed or imprisoned all that possessed the Bible. Was it right to kill Bible lovers? No.

The scripture commands us to be in submission to Church authority but "dark age" - Bible hating Churchmen were the disciples of Satan and not of God. Similarly, when a king beats and hurts his subjects and sells them into slavery, men have a RIGHT-- no, a RESPONSIBILITY to overthrow that evil king. Thus, we have the United States today. Without strong men like Washington the world would still be in the dark ages.

Likewise, when any parent becomes like that "CRAZY" Church or King and hurts the children in both mind and body and forbids the children’s God ordained happiness and freedom by selling them into bondage; it is then that the parent looses his "Divine Mandate" to lead and to be obeyed. The State may still support the parent, just as the king once supported the evil church. Nevertheless, by selling the child into bondage the parent is in the wrong and the state is also wrong to be silent when it should speak.

PRACTICAL APPLICATION -- As a minor child you must submit to various unpleasant demands for a season. However, only God has the right to lead you into the lifelong contract of marriage. No one on earth has the right to sell you for a lifetime. No one! When anyone is placed into a lifetime contract for a parents enrichment (dowry) then that person is made nothing more than a slave! If children are pushed into such a contract without a dowry it is still very wrong. We live in a free land and therefore take hold of our God given freedoms as inalienable. ( Life, Liberty, and The Pursuit of Happiness!)

Consider that in most every nation, betrothal as "forced marriage is not legal. However, it is legal in many African countries, (Kenya as you know) Muslim countries and in the USA. I remember that slavery was once legal in the USA. In Bible times it was legal but was never right. To me betrothal is the monstrosity of slavery masquerading in a white bridal gown. Some people hide its evil from the government by saying it is their religious belief. Yet, "The Devil by any other name is still the Devil." Consider the citations below.

HUMAN RITES WATCH SAYS: The 1956 Supplementary Convention on the Abolition of Slavery, the Slave Trade and Institutions and Practices Similar to Slavery (Supplementary Slavery Convention) bans all slavery-like practices, including debt bondage and forced marriage.

Forced marriage, too, is condemned as a slavery-like practice under the Supplementary Slavery Convention. Article 1 prohibits "any institution or practice whereby . . . a woman, without the right to refuse, is promised or given in marriage on payment of a consideration in money or kind." This provision reinforces the guarantee, under the International Covenant on Civilian Political Rights (ICCPR), of marriage only with "the free and full consent of the intending spouses."11

THE UNITED NATIONS DEFINES SLAVERY AS:"... any marriage that is forced upon a girl or woman by her family or guardians a practice similar to slavery [Article 1 (c)]

ASYLUM CAMPAIGN DEFINES FORCED MARRIAGE: "What is Forced Marriage? Forced marriage is the marriage of (often young) women to men . . . with whom they do not want to be. Forced marriages differ to "arranged marriages" as this entails a process of negotiation and/or prior consultation between parents and their children. IN SITUATIONS OF FORCED MARRIAGE, COERCION IS USED IN THE FORM OF EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL, PHYSICAL CONSTRAINTS, VIOLENCE, kidnapping and CONFINEMENT. Sometimes, women believe that they are traveling for a "holiday" (MISSIONARY TRIP???) and are subsequently married against their will. "

." . .Marriage without consent is illegal in many countries. Yet millions of girls and women still undergo this form of slavery today. "

Young lady, if you are in America you are free. If you are in Christ you are free. Lay hold on your freedom!!!